a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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