I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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