ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.