i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that