Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.

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  (609): Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS. http://tfl.nu/xjwy
  Replies (17) Good night (3325) Bad night (697)
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  (760): View more from California

  I wish they had nachos that got you drunk

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  (760): I wish they had nachos that got you drunk http://tfl.nu/1jvf
  Replies (17) Good night (4571) Bad night (727)
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  (310): View more from California

  Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.

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  (310): Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker. http://tfl.nu/ijgw
  Replies (14) Good night (4081) Bad night (729)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  making cat noises will not fix the situation.

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  (602): making cat noises will not fix the situation. http://tfl.nu/m8sq
  Replies (6) Good night (3406) Bad night (1153)
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  (415): View more from California

  Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".

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  (415): Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed". http://tfl.nu/ptkf
  Replies (54) Good night (8266) Bad night (3539)
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  (858): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...

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  (858): I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal... http://tfl.nu/9xti
  Replies (20) Good night (1522) Bad night (3365)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.

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  (513): I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is. http://tfl.nu/nela
  Replies (4) Good night (2490) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.

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  (647): making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself. http://tfl.nu/as80
  Replies (8) Good night (1308) Bad night (2984)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets

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  (785): In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets http://tfl.nu/2py4
  Replies (7) Good night (1307) Bad night (2219)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?

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  (703): you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat? http://tfl.nu/6p3h
  Replies (8) Good night (960) Bad night (1848)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room

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  (406): don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room http://tfl.nu/gche
  Replies (2) Good night (483) Bad night (820)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...

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  (360): that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem... http://tfl.nu/rc3g
  Replies (12) Good night (2433) Bad night (659)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.

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  (613): All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real. http://tfl.nu/5379
  Replies (11) Good night (2529) Bad night (566)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.

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  (937): My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right. http://tfl.nu/7bat
  Replies (4) Good night (1113) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?

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  (360): He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis? http://tfl.nu/sjic
  Replies (2) Good night (417) Bad night (216)

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