I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize