Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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