I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
