if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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