That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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