I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
