Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
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i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
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If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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