I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
