Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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