I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
