Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize