I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
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You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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