bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
