God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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