you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
