whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm experimenting with sincerity
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize