Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
