she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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