I swear she didn't look like that last week.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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