i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
