His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
