So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We need to rekindle our bromance
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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