I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
