Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
