Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
