My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
