I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
