i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
