just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Randomize