Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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