first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
