YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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