Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
