I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
