Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I had to cum in my sink.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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