im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
