I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
