i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
