Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
