is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
