from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
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She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
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Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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