nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
