franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
