When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize