oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
