Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
