I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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