you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
