apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
