Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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