i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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