Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
