make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
